Divorce Support You Should Not Do Without
Posted on April 13, 2021 8:27 PM by Gina
Lost. Scared. Lonely. Sad. Angry. Bitter. Relieved. Hopeful. These are just some of the stops along the emotional roller coaster that is divorce. It’s not something that you have to endure alone. Now that divorce is so common, there are many resources available to help you survive -- and thrive-- throughout the process.
Friends and family -provide a wealth of much-needed emotional support. These resources are great for a shoulder to cry on, to remind you that you are loved, and to provide distraction from the mentally draining process you are no doubt going through. However, do not rely on friends and family for objective or professional advice (unless that person is a licensed specialist in that field). Also, it is not suggested that you run to your circle of friends with every sordid detail or piece of legal and financial information; you will quickly drain this valuable resource. For true healing and positive growth, you will need the help of a trained professional.
Growth and Grief
A Good Therapist – There is just so much emotional trauma caused by divorce that you really need to talk it through with a qualified professional. A therapist will help you explore your role in the end of the marriage so you can get clear about your goals for the next phase of your life. This is the only way you can hope to form new relationships that aren’t doomed to repeat your past.
CDFA® or Financial Planner– The most common and paralyzing fear that nearly everyone feels in divorce is “Will I be ok financially?” It’s inevitable. Before you agree to any property settlement for the disposition of your marital assets, you really need a second set of eyes and some financial projections so you understand the ramifications of the agreement on your future. Of course, I’m biased and would prefer that you find a CDFA® specifically trained to understand and navigate the finances of divorce.
Education and Healing
The Internet – Divorce has become big business. New resource sites pop up every day offering a wealth of free information, downloads, blogs, referrals, directories, etc. It can be somewhat overwhelming so just pick out what you connect with and leave the rest. Meetup.com is a great resource for local divorce support groups. Going to a few meet-ups is a good idea but don’t let yourself stay in this phase too long. Divorce has become big business. New resource sites pop up every day offering a wealth of free information, downloads, blogs, referrals, directories, etc. It can be somewhat overwhelming so just pick out what you connect with and leave the rest. Meetup.com is a great resource for local divorce support groups. Going to a few meetups is a good idea but don’t let yourself stay in this phase too long. Recovery is supposed to be about getting better. Too many people stay mired in the grieving process that they are never truly able to recover and move on. Use a support group to move through the process and then – move on. Go slow. Be kind to yourself.
Nonprofits -Almost every community in the country has a non- profit that offers divorce support resources. In Buffalo, NY we have EBCA Volunteer Lawyer Project, https://ecbavlp.com/ for those who qualify. The Center for Hope provides healing from leaving a Narcissistic Abuse relationship https://centerforhopewny.org/
This is going to be a challenging time in your life. Ultimately, you will be stronger and happier, as long as you surround yourself with the right support to help you move on. Use the resources available to you to make good decisions for yourself. Today truly is the first day of the rest of your life.